Bittersweet
by AaronEmilyLove2005
Summary: Hotch and Emily can't stay away from each other, no matter how painful it is.


He's standing in front of her, taking her breath with just the touch of his palm against her face.

"Aaron.."

"Shhh..." he says firmly before he kisses her hard, because he wants to and because he's hoping to change her mind.

Her back is against the wall where he placed her so persistently, as his hands grip her waist, tightly.

"It's not gonna be enough" she says.

Now he's more determined. Her words reinforce his mission to make her stay. He's not one to give up and never has been. She knows this but she has to try because the pain that settles in her chest every time she has to leave has become too much. It's almost all she can think about as his lips skim over her neck and her hands run through his hair.

"I know" He's blunt and she knows he doesn't care, or at least not at the moment.

But she knows how the pain will take over when when she's on that damn plane back to the job she's always dreamed about; the job that's making all this impossible. Or is it his job? Either way, they have to be apart and the distance is overwhelming.

"Aaron we can't" she says breathlessly as he's ridding her of her shirt.

"But we _are_" he tells her truthfully, jerking her zipper down and pushing his hand inside her lacy satin panties.

Now she can't think. Right now she can't do anything but breathe and that's becoming more difficult by the second. He pushes his fingers, not one but two, inside her wetness and becomes frustrated with the lack of room his hand has. Trying to hold herself up, she braces one hand behind her on the wall and the other on his shoulder as he pulls her right bra strap down. Her breast falls and his mouth is attached to her nipple before she can blink.

Emily slumps down the wall, forcing his fingers further inside as he covers her nipple with his talented tongue.

She knows this is a mistake, not a mistake as in either of them actually regretting it, but a mistake nonetheless. It's another moment between them that will be only a bittersweet memory. She wants to stop him and rant at him about how they talked about this, the first time this happened, but she can't.

He wants her where he can access everything better, easier and quicker. Pulling his fingers from her, hearing her moan, he picks her up and lays her on the hotel bed and covers her body with his.

She insisted on staying at a hotel when had Penelope offered her place. She didn't want to impose, though her conscience told her that she may need the room 'just in case'. The last time she was with him, like this, she didn't need a room. She had only six hours of free time and four of those were spent with Hotch, naked. They didn't think, they just fucked like wild animals at his apartment until she had to leave.

As he kisses and licks her everywhere, all she can do is let him. He rids her of the rest of her clothes while he still wears his suit, minus the coat, leaving his tie loose around his neck.

"God, I've missed you" he says as he covers her naked body, not noticing the tears that well up in her eyes because he's immediately all over her neck and collarbone. She doesn't say anything, only moans when she feels his hardness against her through his suit pants.

He knows she misses him. She's told him; on the phone, in her texts and on Skype. She's tries to understand his strength and not assume that he doesn't care and that she's just a release for him. It's not that she's a weak person but that incredible strength he has when they're apart; when reality comes down on her, she doesn't possess.

"Aaron...mmm.." she groans as he makes his way down her beautiful body. He reaches her center and she begs. "No, just c'mere" she pleads, hoping to strip him of his well tailored suit, when he suddenly flicks his tongue over her clit.

"Fuck..." she says loudly and he laughs, barely.

"In a minute baby" he says sarcastically, then he's diving in for more of the taste of her. As both hands splay across her well-toned abdomen, her hips involuntarily rise up until he pushes them back down to the matress.

Soon he halts his assualt between her legs because he can't take the pain in his snug boxers any longer, besides the fact that she would've pulled his hair out, literally, if he didn't. He reaches up with both hands, holding her wrists, and bites her hip; the spot he knows is her undoing.

"Ahh... " she screamed. "Get up here Aaron" she says firmly. "I wanna take your clothes off" she she informs him.

"Feisty" he says as he moved up to her body until he met her eyes. "I like it when you try to be in charge. It's cute." he mocks, looking down at her, smiling.

His smile is recipicated as her hands move to the front of his pants, releasing his belt and unzipping his pants. The moment she grasps his cock, he groans and pushes her hand away.

"I'll do that" he says before shoving his pants down, not taking the time to remove them completely. He turns her to her stomach and she gasps. Laying his shirt and tie against her back, he strokes her wetness with the head of his cock as she scrambles for a fist full of the sheet under her.

"Please Aaron" she begs as he spanks her with his shaft, then pushes himself inside of her.

Once he's seated inside, he pulls out and repeats the wonderful torture.

"_This?_" he says in a whisper as he soars within her. "This isn't enough?" he asks, knowing the truth himself.

He knows the pain. She assumes he's so strong but he isn't. He can't fathom the thought of her visiting this city and him not being able to touch her. But when she's gone and the night comes, he's lost. He's lost in that dark place that he's tries so hard to stay away from, for her, for Jack and for himself.

"No...it isn't" she says breathlessly while feeling his fingertips at her soaked clit. He moves them over her, using no pressure until she makes that sound; the sound he became acquainted with during their four hour onslaught two months ago.

He pulls her hair away from her neck, fisting it in his hand, pumping into her repeatedly as she feels the fabric from his suit against her.

Moving his mouth to her ear, she hears the words that she never thought he'd say.

"Then don't go" he says as simply if she was about to choose what to have for breakfast.

It would be hard enough to make a decision like this if they were standing in his office, but for him to expect her to make a decision here and now, as he's pounding into her, is ludicrous. She ignores his somewhat selfish plea but can't deny that the thought has already invaded her mind.

Pulling her closer to him with the hand that's between her legs, he puts more pressure now and she comes apart for him, hard. Her body shakes under him as he drags himself in and out again slowly. With her around him like a vise, he's losing his stamina quickly but he's confident that he can make her cum again. He grabs her hips, pulling her along with him to their knees. Not that the front of her body isn't beautiful to him, but he loves it like this. His hands roughly embrace her ass, driving her to push hard against him while he is fond of watching his cock dissappear into her time and again.

"Mmm god Aaron" she moaned loudly.

He felt her pulsing around him and began producing his own sounds. "Come on Emily" he forced out, trying to hold himself back for her.

He lightly pushed on her shoulder and her upper body fell to the sheets. The angle change hit Emily suddenly and when he pushed just a little further and stilled, she came again. Her second orgasm drenched his member even more and he increased his strokes. His breathing was rapid as she knew he was close.

She also knew this would be the last time they would do this.

"Emily..." he says so lowly that she almost thinks he said Em.

"Yes...baby..." she says just before he growls deeply as he cums, thrusting into her until his body calms. He lays beside her and covers them both with the sheet as she rolls over to face him. She wants to say something; something that he needs to hear before she's gone, but she can't focus on anything but the pain. The silence is heartbreaking as they lay there fighting the second hand on the wall clock.

"When do you have to leave?" he asks, dreading her answer either way. He knows it's soon that she'll be flying away from him...again.

As much as she hates it, she knows she has to be harsh with him or he will con her into staying. One more night.

"I really should be going now" she says and then there's that silence again.

"Are you _really_ happy in London?" he asks boldy.

"Are you _really_ happy here?" she replies back quickly.

"Not without you" he says and her heart does that thing that it does when he's blunt and honest.

"Aaron..." she says, frustrated and angry that things can't just be simple. "I don't know what to say. I can't just give up my job for you" she tells him firmly.

"You mean for _us_." He pushes, knowing it's a low blow.

"That's not fair Aaron" she pushes back, leaving his arms, and the bed, then putting on her clothes.

"But it _is_ fair when we just made love" he says.

"Made love? Aaron...you didnt even take your clothes off. That's not making love" she informs him as her voice breaks. .

"Then what do you call it? Fucking?" he asks, his voice getting louder.

"Yes! Fucking" she says honestly.

He wanted to tell her the truth; that he couldn't control himself long enough to remove his clothes but he thought of another truth that she needed to hear.

"What just happened between us, for the second time, wasn't just a fling for me Emily. This time or the first time" he informs her, standing and closing his pants, leaving his belt hanging. She stares into his eyes and he makes his way over to her, taking her face in his hands. But before he can speak, she does.

"Aaron, I'm going home" she positively.

Home. She shatters his heart into a million pieces as he tries his best to keep it together. He knows he has to tell her. He knows he'll hire someone to kick his own ass if he let's her leave without knowing.

"I love you" He searchs her eyes, waiting, but she doesn't t reply and it hurts. "Emily, I know you miss everyone here. People talk and I know that you miss this team and that you've had thoughts of coming back" he tells her, watching her expression change to surprise.

"So I leave and everyone just talks about me?" she asks, now irritable, completely avoiding his confession.

"No Emily, everyone cares about you. There's a difference" he says truthfully. She lowers her head and feels horrible for asking the question. With two fingers under her chin, he forces her to look into his eyes. "But no one cares about you as much as I do" He can see the wheels turning in her pretty head so he gives it his best shot at pulling her across the finish line.

"Please Emily" he pleads.

"I'll think about it" she says and then kisses him goodbye...for now.


End file.
